Governor Sonny Perdue has advised Atlanta residents to eat less fiber and more cheese as hundreds of millions of gallons of untreated sewage were poured into the Chattahoochee River today. Officials say it could take weeks to repair the flooded R.M. Clayton Sewage Plant located in northwest Atlanta. The situation was exacerbated as nearby sewage pump stations have failed due to excessive flooding .

Believe it or not, most of this is actual news. Read more about the sewage situation here.

(Thanks to Frank Lazaro for the inside scoop.)

It was too pricey anyway.

(Mad thanks to honorary reporter Teresa Rolfe Kravtin for the story idea.)

When will it end?!

But for how long? It has been advised that all shrimping boats be secured in preparation for expected storms.

When asked for comments, Lt. Dan of the Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. states, “You’ll never sink this boat!”.

I just saw a photo on the AJC’s Web site with this alarming caption:

“Shirley D., left and Chuck M. ferry supplies to their home at Paces Manor on Tuesday. They lost 4 of their 5 cars to flood damage — including a 2010 2 XKR Jag.”

No, not the Jag! It’s obvious that these floods are just another piece of Obama’s socialist agenda. Dear Mr. President, leave the rich alone!

Ken Cook has commented that this is indeed, “the 100 year flood.”

Looks like the ATLflood HQ took a bit of water earlier in the day. Pretty sure the Sassy Girlz are responsible.