Posts Tagged “flood”


Interior designers play with water reflection motif in hopes of elevating the status symbolism of a flooded living room.  We consider it a success and can’t wait for our turn.

story submitted by Starbucks lover -jacon.

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It was too pricey anyway.

(Mad thanks to honorary reporter Teresa Rolfe Kravtin for the story idea.)

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divining rod

Much of the Atlanta area is under a boil water advisory after a loss of power at the Northside Pump Station. Seeing as the state of Georgia has been experiencing a drought, we’d like to suggest the following water sources:

- parts of I-75

- your backyard

- Buckhead (But practice caution when approaching large bodies of water as a megalodon was spotted in the area yesterday.)

If you still have difficulty finding water, please let know. We have divining rods available at the discounted price of $18.95. (Delivery may take up to two weeks. However, if the storms predicted for this weekend prove true, delivery will be faster. Sorry, guys — we just have the one canoe.)

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But for how long? It has been advised that all shrimping boats be secured in preparation for expected storms.

When asked for comments, Lt. Dan of the Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. states, “You’ll never sink this boat!”.

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To show the city’s resilient spirit, the city of Atlanta has officially designated Atlanta Memorial Park a “public recreational aquatic facility.” The park has aptly been renamed “Atlanta Memorial Pool.” A brief ribbon-cutting ceremony was held this morning.

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Last night around 1 a.m. we received an exclusive photo of a break in the water line that runs directly under Centennial Olympic Park. People using the park for refuge in the late evening were forced to run for their lives as the piping exploded beneath their feet. There’s no word yet concerning the validity of rumors we received earlier regarding the park being renovated as a giant ball pit with giant slip ‘n’ slide. Stay tuned.

photo credit: somebody cool, definitely not a loser who would threaten legal action.

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Despite the 100 year flood, one Atlanta resident is finding ways to keep the party going. When asked what motivated him to abandon his home and children for an inflatable donut and his beer keg, the man replied “WOOOOOOO!!!!” This picture was also taken at Turner Field. Trust us.

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Right-wing conservatives have accused Atlanta’s homosexual population of causing the city’s flooding. Ryan Moss, a local gay, says, “I shouldn’t have gone to church on Sunday! It always storms when I go to church!” We’re sure Senator Saxby Chambliss — and the late Jerry Falwell — would agree.

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More than 300 refugees are expected at Red Cross shelters across the metro Atlanta area as more and more homes become inundated with flood waters.

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Ken Cook has commented that this is indeed, “the 100 year flood.”

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