Posts Tagged “child army”

porterdalebear

As flood waters rushed into the Porterdale and Covington area Monday night, they brought the rare bearshoctopus — a species scientists once believed to be extinct — with them. Mass hysteria immediately erupted in the area as residents fled to the partially flooded Porterdale Mill Lofts. The story wasn’t broken until today (Much of the Covington area lacks infrastructure, including phone lines.) when news photographer Dan Heisel took this epic photo of the beast.

Authorities advise Porterdale and Covington residents to seek refuge at the the nearby Georgia International Horse Park in Conyers where hundreds of refugees have already set up camp. When school lets out at 3 p.m. today, Gwinnett County’s child army will be dispatched to deal with the bearshoctopus. The army has already slain a local shark and the Buckhead megalodon.

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31085

An ATLflood.com correspondant has just reported the formation of a child army in Gwinnett County. The county’s schools are closed today due to the county’s severe shark problem. (Both Ken Cook and Ken Burns are on the scene capturing footage for next year’s Shark Week.) Gwinnett County residents are advised to stay in their homes, karaoke facilities or Korean barbecue restaurants until the situation is under control.

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