An ATLflood.com correspondant has just reported the formation of a child army in Gwinnett County. The county’s schools are closed today due to the county’s severe shark problem. (Both Ken Cook and Ken Burns are on the scene capturing footage for next year’s Shark Week.) Gwinnett County residents are advised to stay in their homes, karaoke facilities or Korean barbecue restaurants until the situation is under control.

13 Responses to “Schools close, child army forms”
  1. M says:

    I’ve been out on the flooded Gwinett streets and can confirm this is happening. I saw 2 kids taken down by the shark.

  2. Dragon says:

    On the bright side, the shark may not be too hungry anymore.

  3. Momma Diva says:

    This is ridiculous! What kind of journalism is this? There have ALWAYS been child armies in Gwinnett County. How else are we supposed to be prepared when the s**t goes down? And in most cases the sharks are no match for the child army detachments.

  4. byron h. says:

    I hope the city has the good sense to arm these child soldiers with shark rockets.

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