According to other local news sources, Hurricane Ida sent over 4 inches of rain to Atlanta yesterday. This record number quickly caused more flooding around town, even in the ATLflood HQ basement. Apparently the storms were so severe that a small geyser erupted from beneath our house, sending massive amounts of water spraying up from the floor. We didn’t want to risk damaging our higher end photo equipment, but here’s a quick cell phone photo capturing the event.

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I was able to stop the flow of water earlier this morning but I’m somewhat concerned that I may have caught trench foot while wading through the swampy waters.

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Lilburn’s Yellow River Game Ranch reopened this weekend after flood waters receded. Luckily, Gen. Beauregard Lee, “the world’s most famous groundhog,” survived the flooding. However, there’s no word yet on the facility’s “assorted goats,” its lone crow or its cage of raccoons.

goats

Yellow River Game Ranch will be increasing the cost of peacock feathers to $1.25 to help cover the cost of flood damage.

peacock feather

Any leftover funds will be used to identify the facility’s assorted goat species and to insert an “O” into the following sign.

tortoise

On the bright side, at least all of the animals finally have water.

poor rabbit

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WaterDamage

Interior designers play with water reflection motif in hopes of elevating the status symbolism of a flooded living room.  We consider it a success and can’t wait for our turn.

story submitted by Starbucks lover -jacon.

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porterdalebear

As flood waters rushed into the Porterdale and Covington area Monday night, they brought the rare bearshoctopus — a species scientists once believed to be extinct — with them. Mass hysteria immediately erupted in the area as residents fled to the partially flooded Porterdale Mill Lofts. The story wasn’t broken until today (Much of the Covington area lacks infrastructure, including phone lines.) when news photographer Dan Heisel took this epic photo of the beast.

Authorities advise Porterdale and Covington residents to seek refuge at the the nearby Georgia International Horse Park in Conyers where hundreds of refugees have already set up camp. When school lets out at 3 p.m. today, Gwinnett County’s child army will be dispatched to deal with the bearshoctopus. The army has already slain a local shark and the Buckhead megalodon.

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sewage

Governor Sonny Perdue has advised Atlanta residents to eat less fiber and more cheese as hundreds of millions of gallons of untreated sewage were poured into the Chattahoochee River today. Officials say it could take weeks to repair the flooded R.M. Clayton Sewage Plant located in northwest Atlanta. The situation was exacerbated as nearby sewage pump stations have failed due to excessive flooding .

Believe it or not, most of this is actual news. Read more about the sewage situation here.

(Thanks to Frank Lazaro for the inside scoop.)

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canoe_restaurant

It was too pricey anyway.

(Mad thanks to honorary reporter Teresa Rolfe Kravtin for the story idea.)

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divining rod

Much of the Atlanta area is under a boil water advisory after a loss of power at the Northside Pump Station. Seeing as the state of Georgia has been experiencing a drought, we’d like to suggest the following water sources:

- parts of I-75

- your backyard

- Buckhead (But practice caution when approaching large bodies of water as a megalodon was spotted in the area yesterday.)

If you still have difficulty finding water, please let ATLflood.com know. We have divining rods available at the discounted price of $18.95. (Delivery may take up to two weeks. However, if the storms predicted for this weekend prove true, delivery will be faster. Sorry, guys — we just have the one canoe.)

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When will it end?!

galoshes

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protest

The unemployed from all over the city have gathered along flooded roads to mock drivers heading to and from work.

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But for how long? It has been advised that all shrimping boats be secured in preparation for expected storms.

When asked for comments, Lt. Dan of the Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. states, “You’ll never sink this boat!”.

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